Daily Laff - Jokes Of The Day

Joke #1 - A tourist and his wife strolling the beach in Waikiki get into an argument. The husband says "It is pronounced 'Hawaii'!". The wife says "No dear, it is pronounced 'Havaii'!" To settle the dispute they ask an old man who is sunbathing nearby. "Excuse me sir, is it pronounced Hawaii or Havaii?" The old man replied "It is pronounced Havaii". The husband said thank you and the old man replied "You're Velcome".

Joke #2 - A father catches his teenage son pleasuring himself in the bathroom. The father says, "Son, you know that will make you go blind". The son says, "Dad, I'm over here"

Joke #3 - A young produce clerk is approached by a customer who asks "Excuse me, but I would like to buy a half an apple." The clerk proceeds to the store manager not realizing he has been followed by the customer. He tells the store manager "Some idiot wants to buy half and apple". Just then he realizes the customer is behind him. He then says to the store manager, "and this gentleman would like the other half".

Joke #4 - A junior executive is seated on a flight next to his boss on a flight to Green Bay. To make conversation, he says "Green Bay. The only things it's known for is football players and prostitutes". The boss replies, "My wife is from Green Bay" to which the junior exec replies "What position does she play?"